I wrote a post about Why It’s Best NOT to Spank, and that was the entry that received the first random hit from Internet land (go figure). That was yesterday, and now it’s showing three hits. I am sure this is laughable to those with flourishing blogs, but I have to admit that I’m rather elated. Three people (well, only two unique visitors) whom I don’t know just read something that I wrote. Is this what real writers feel? Happy to be read? Is life really this simple? If it is, then I have really been missing out. Let me tell you.
And I’m also curious. I would love to know if the person/people who stumbled upon the post found the information helpful to them. Or if they were hoping that the post was instead related to spanking in a different context. The non-child-disciplining-strategy-that-I-believe-is-completely-unnecessary-in-good-child-rearing kind (i.e., the adult-friendly kind).
Well, for those interested, it’s best not to spank in an adult context, too. Love and pain don’t mix. Playful, you say? And I say, okay but why is that considered playful? Sick, maybe. I hated being spanked as a child. And I was a good kid (or so I thought). To use spanking in an adult context just doesn’t compute for me. Maybe it helps us to make light of the wrongs that were done to us when we were children. Or maybe it’s just another answer to the call/need for everything to be twisted around (i.e., perverted) so that we don’t ever have to be truly vulnerable with our partner. You know, true vulnerability.
But I think the kind of stuff I say just is not what people want to read about. We want to read about how everything is okay. Whatever we want to do, it’s fine (we say to ourselves). We can do whatever we want to ourselves, to our children (and to our partners). And I just say in response to this, a big resounding no with capital letters and bold text. No, no, no. We need to respect ourselves, and we need to respect our children. (And we need to respect the relationship we are in with our partners.) We need to respect the responsibility that God gave us to parent our children well (and to love our partner well)—with love and with dignity.
Spanking our children (or spanking our partners, either way, for discipline or for play) is an act of humiliation. There is no place for deliberate humiliation in a mutually respectful and healthy relationship. Is this so hard to understand?