Keep things cool and even-keeled. There is no need to pick fights with your kids unless there’s a really good reason to. Most of the time, our kids are just being kids. Yes, we need to show them a better way, but no, it doesn’t usually require being argumentative with them or contentious. Be matter-of-fact about things. Go neutral. Restrain any negative emotions you feel (you can still feel them), and be generous with any positive emotions you feel (make sure to feel them, too). There will be plenty of fights that our children will pick for themselves—so whenever it’s up to us, let’s choose the road of peace and unity (even if there’s an issue that we need to address—we can still confront and solve problems without being confrontational about it).