Reserve your ability to respond intensely at the drop of a hat for when you really need to be at a hundred—like if there’s an emergency. For the most part, we really don’t need to use this skill very often. So let the day-to-day interactions reflect this point. Kids are kids, and this is a wonderful thing. As we experience upsets, keep things dialed down. Take things one moment at a time. Nothing is ever as big of a deal as we think it is in the moment. Except if it’s a true emergency. Usually auto-response kicks in then. So if it’s not an emergency (and even so), be intentionally calm and controlled as much as you can help it.