When our children could use some comforting, give it freely and without holding it against them. If you know you should offer your comfort, then do it. And do it willingly and lovingly and warmly and generously. Comfort doesn’t spoil children. Neglect and indifference does. Lavish the comfort because it is a healing agent. If you don’t know how to comfort because you needed more comforting in your childhood than you received, then don’t let that stop you from trying. What matters more than the exact words (or words at all) or the right way (it depends on perspective, context, and personal history) is the effort. Not the amount of effort, necessarily. But that there is effort. This goes for every area of parenting and living, really, but it is all the same true when it comes to giving comfort.