When Much Is Required, Show up

We can very quickly feel like we are drowning in the daily work and responsibilities that our life (as a parent) brings with it.  It can be tempting to throw in the towel and call it quits.  To put everything on auto-pilot until we get our lives back to where we want them.  But our life has changed permanently now—and there’s no going back.  Our former life is gone.  This is all there is now.  Things will even out as time passes—like our time availability and our energy reserves and our capacity to be spontaneous and our ability to have flow in our lives again.  But we can never un-do the fact that kids are in our lives.  This is what it is now.  So when much is required, it’s immensely critical to show up.  Not retreat.  Not give a half-baked effort.  Do all that you can.  Give all that is possible.  Leave it all on the table (and, yes, it will be messy at times—both literally and emotionally speaking).  This is how you pave a road to a good and satisfying life—especially as it relates to your family and the process of nurturing loving and lasting ties.  If you withhold what you are supposed to give now, at this time in your life (even if it’s hard), then you’ll never get another chance to give it.  Instead of being seeds for a stronger relationship with your children (which, the older they get, is more important that we might think), whatever you have withheld from them (in an attempt to save it for later or to conserve our mental resources) will be like useless sand.  It will be nothing to you or them.  The harder we cling to what we think is being taken from us, the less we have what we really want—which is a warm, loving, accepting family that is based on trust, goodwill, generosity, and honesty.

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