A Short Checklist for People (Especially Parents) with Codependent Tendencies

Take an inventory, every now and then, of how you are doing.

  1. What’s your motivation?  Is it to selfishly get love/approval/connection?  Or is it to selflessly give it?
  2. Where’s your limits?  Are you blurring lines to justify questionable behavior?  Or are your boundaries objectively appropriate?
  3. Where’s your fuel coming from?  Are you unfairly using people to fill the void?  Or are you turning to healthy habits and mechanisms to displace uncomfortable feelings like loneliness, neediness, and validation-craving?
  4. How’s your assertiveness doing?  Are you having trouble saying no (or yes) when you want to?  Or are you effectively establishing your needs, wants, and desires?
  5. Where’s your anchor?  Are you all over the place, blown about by every wind of perceived rejection, disappointment, or unfulfilled need?  Or are you rooted in deliberate/sacrificial love, purposeful living, and meaningful relationships?

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