I’m not talking with food (although that’s important, too). I’m talking about basic decency. Being polite, respectful, kind, and thoughtful. When things are good between you and the person you made your children with, it contributes to helping things be good between you and your children. This doesn’t mean that we tolerate disrespect, meanness, or other kinds of mistreatment. (Put your learned assertiveness skills to work!) It just means that we do our part even if we don’t feel like it. Take the initiative (if you must) with things like courtesy, generosity, forgiveness, and companionship. Remember that you aren’t doing these things to get love. (You are able to love yourself now, unconditionally.) You do them now to give love and to invest positively in the relationships that matter most. It has a wonderful trickle-down effect that works for us as we are trying to develop loving, trusting, and fair relationships with our children.