The Cloud Is Gone. And the Dread Is, Too

After you’ve been doing this for a while—recovering from the lowest place you’ve been—you will eventually—eventually—get to a place where the cloud is gone.  As well as the dread.  That heaviness that follows you wherever you go is now no longer with you.  And that fearful feeling you always felt when you woke up and went through your day is not there anymore.  At first, it will frighten you (not feeling hyper-vigilant anymore).  You will feel unwell.  It doesn’t feel right to feel right.  It doesn’t feel good (at first) to feel good.  It feels wrong.  It feels very twilight-zone-y.  You don’t feel yourself.  Until you realize that this is what it feels like to be well.  That this is what healthiness is.  It’s feeling fine.  It’s not having to wrestle with all the stuff in your head.  It’s being free from the weight of all the things you used to struggle with.  None of that is there anymore.  Don’t try to bring it back into your life.  Receive your newfound (and hard-fought) freedom.  And know that you have made it to a very important milestone.  A place of earned happiness and well-being.

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