But What If You Really Don’t See Any Progress?

Nurturing ourselves as we nurture others means that we aren’t forgetting about caring for ourselves while we are focused on caring for others.  For all the tending we do to our families, it is so easy to chalk up our needs and wants as unimportant in the light of all that we do for our children and our spouse/co-parent.  Nurturing ourselves as well as others helps us to keep things balanced in our life so that we don’t end up burning out, flipping out, or giving up when it is so very important to stay the course, most especially as it relates to the children we brought into this world and the spouse/co-parent with whom we share their upbringing.  It can be disheartening to do all this work on ourselves (because nurturing ourselves is not just about keeping ourselves comfortable but about challenging ourselves to be better) and then not really see any progress.  To still have our own pathetic meltdowns.  (Our two- and three-year-olds have nothing on us.)  To still wrestle with the sometimes-still-crippling anxiety and depression, neither one of which (we rationalize) doesn’t need to be there anymore.  So what if that’s you?  What if you really aren’t seeing any progress after all this time?  Do you quit?  (There’s such a thing as quitting for the right reasons.)  I say no.  Recovery, in any sense of the word, takes time and effort, and it often gets the hardest right before it gets better.  So keep at it.  Continue doing what you know is right for you and your family.  There’s a sort of relentlessness that goes along with all this personal development we are involved with now.  It’s raw, and it’s real.  We have every opportunity (and excuse) to stop our efforts.  It often seems like the whole world and everyone in it is against us (yet why are we so compelled to keep caring?).  But this (both the perceived opposition and our weakness/sickness to eternally care) doesn’t matter in the least.  We are the ones who have to live with ourselves and the choices we make and the family we’ve grown.  So if we are not happy with how things are going, then we have a downright responsibility to change how we approach this life that we live and this love that we give.  So whatever you do, keep going!

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