There is always an out whenever we come up against things like anxieties, impeding meltdowns (our own as well as our children’s), looming frustrations, and hovering depressions. When you recognize an out, take it! It doesn’t do any good to not take the out just because we feel like being miserable for the day. When will we ever learn that feeling miserable doesn’t actually feel good? It comforts us in a way that only selfishness does. It is important that we learn how to shake the stuff that weighs us down and holds us back and keeps us short-sighted.
And it doesn’t matter how trivial the “thing” is that is triggering whatever is troubling us. As we learn to recognize the exits more and more, we will see how “easy” it is to stay even and serene because we are never completely trapped. There is always a way out! It’s up to us to take it!
Want some seemingly superficial examples? I don’t know why, but sometimes it is ridiculously irritating when one of my children takes my writing utensil (be it a pen, pencil, crayon, what have you). Or (worse) when my pencil (let’s say) is just “gone” and no one seems to have taken it. Because (you guessed it) I can’t rest until I find that pencil. I just can’t let it go. But you know how easily that is fixed? By my getting a new one! The old one will show up eventually. And it’s not like it was my one and only pencil (or even a special one with sentimental value or something). All I have to do is say to myself, “Huh. It must be around here somewhere. It will show up.” And then go get another one. It saves loads in time and energy trying to find the old one. See how ridiculously trivial this is? Like I said, it’s not always the big things that unravel us. It’s the itty bitty inconsequential things that we just can’t put down.
Here’s another example. When my children want to dress up as Spiderman, they like to wear black gloves with the costume. Those little stretchy winter gloves do the trick. But so many times, I hear them say, “I can’t find the Spiderman gloves!” And before I know it, I’m turning everything upside down trying to find the Spiderman gloves for them (similar to trying to find my missing pencil). Well, the simplest solution of all time is to just have them use my gloves. I might not like it (because they are my gloves), but it’s an acceptable and reasonable solution to the present problem that allows me to LET GO of the thing that is keeping me from staying fluid (internally, emotionally speaking). Furthermore, the solution (or the “out” as it truly is) allows me to let go of the thing that is holding me back from becoming the person I want to be. And, yes, those things can take the form of pencils and gloves. Which is why it’s important for us to increase our awareness of these “things” in our life and to figure out simple ways to fix the problem at hand (and improve our thought process about it all) so that we can let go of these things quickly and quietly, thereby cutting off the anxieties, meltdowns, frustrations, and depressions at the pass.