Wallow Only As Much As You Need to

There’s an episode on Gilmore Girls where the mom says to her daughter that she needs to wallow.  Granted, they’re talking about the daughter’s breakup with her boyfriend, but wallowing isn’t only reserved for the loss of romantic relationships.  Wallowing is a behavior that helps many-a-person cope with the realities of their given life, with or without a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife.  As the parents we are, there is plenty of reason to wallow, and it’s important to remember to participate in such wallowing only as much as is necessary.  If we continue the wallowing beyond what is really called for, then we are creating a lifestyle for ourselves that isn’t really conducive to long-term growth and intrinsic resiliency.  So if we’re having a day that calls for a good wallow, then fine.  But as soon as the wallowing has served its purpose, then it’s onward and upward.  It’s similar to the process of allowing ourselves to feel all of our emotions (especially our negative ones).  It’s not to encourage the dwelling but to encourage the flowing through of our emotions so that we can feel better and, as a result, not need to feel the negative things anymore.

Leave a Reply