For our types, the happiness thing has always eluded us. We can put a smile on, no problem. We can make other think that we are happy, easy-peasy. But to actually be happy, well, now, that’s another story. For some reason, being happy was never something that felt real.
I’m at a place in my life now where I’ve done it all, I’ve been it all, I’ve said it all. I don’t know it all (although I wish I did, but be careful what you wish for, right?). And I can’t fix it all (though how great would that be?). All I can do is let go of everything that is not in my power to control or to change (which is a lot). Yet with that said, there is a lot that we all do have control over and can change. Things like our attitude and our choices and the thoughts we keep in our head and the emotions we keep in our heart.
The one thing I am left with at the end of the day (and at the start of each morning) is simply to let myself be happy. It’s the one piece of advice that I think people like us really need to hear over and over again. Why be miserable when it really serves no purpose? When we were younger, it’s true that we might have had people in our lives who needed our happiness as their fuel—like a parent who relied on their child’s affect to feel like a good parent or a boyfriend/girlfriend who depended on us to carry them and their moods. But we don’t have to give our happiness away so quickly anymore—in fact, not at all. We are full grown adults now, and we’ve come out on the other side of some pretty difficult stuff. We get to choose how it’s going to be for us now. We get to be the ones who say how this day is going to go. We don’t have to be yanked around by someone else’s problems anymore.
At first, being and staying happy simply because we want to be is going to be weird. It’s going to feel wrong. But after a while, we will see that it’s really that simple. It’s up to us. Our kids can be however they are going to be. Up, down, turned around, whatever. Our moods are not dependent on anyone else’s (as our parents’ or significant others’ may have been). We are free to be however we want to be. And this is how we know we’ve broken through—when it all kind of clicks for us like this. It may take some time, but we will get to this place. And it’s worth every bit of the struggle we may have to go through to get here.