Be Honest about How You Feel

Good, bad, or indifferent, we need to feel our feelings.  It doesn’t mean we need to act on our feelings.  It just means that we need to try our best to identify them.  We are going to feel some crazy things on this road of parenting and of living in general.  As parents, we sometimes think that we can’t have any real emotions or be a real human anymore.  We think that we have to be statuesque (e.g., stoic) about things from here on out (because we have children to raise—which means that we have to watch our own behaviors and attitudes if we want to pass on to them constructive life tools).

Well, if we shut ourselves off to what we are feeling (all of it), then that’s going to lead to some really unhealthy stuff later.  Face it now.  Deal with it now.  (All of it.)  Because that’s how we will feel better.  And get better.  And, often, the grip that our negative feelings had on us loosens, and then the negative feeling, whatever it is, eventually fades once we name what it is and then look it in the eye and then make a conscious decision to not go in the direction that that negative feeling would want to take us—after having all the cards on the table.  It’s tough to make our own choices if we feel like we don’t have a choice.  So identifying our feelings (if feeling your feelings is taking it too far for you) allows us to have a true choice in everything we come up against in this life, especially during this time of parenting young children.

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