If You Really Want to Be Well…

…Then you will cut ties with the people who push and pull you around.  The assertiveness training comes first, of course.  We have to do everything we can do to make a better life for ourselves and to strengthen personal skills that may be lacking.  But once we’ve done the work and we’ve been putting it into practice, sometimes the only thing left that we can really do is to cut the cord.  We might not be able to do that exactly the same way in every circumstance (think: bosses, parents, friends, neighbors, spouses), so the cutting of the cord can be a purely emotional and spiritual move, where we cease to allow ourselves to be swayed by anything other than our own self and our own God.  Yes, people do switch jobs, break away from their parents, stop being friends with people, move to another house, and get a divorce.  But you might not be in a position to be able to do these things or to even want to do these things.  These extreme measures are rather unnatural and cause much disruption in a person’s life.  These measures are a last resort if you get to a point where you have done everything else in your power to help yourself and to allow God to help you.  You will become very attuned to the fact that cutting ties is the right thing for you to do—if it truly becomes the right thing for you to do.  In many cases, cutting ties with others is plainly the wrong thing to do at a given point in time, especially if you haven’t done the personal work to essentially earn the taking of a last-resort measure.  But at some point, we all have our own choices to make, and for those who seem to feel forever connected (in a less-than-desirable way) to everyone you’ve ever met, it’s important to begin cutting ties.  Start with the least important people in your life, people to whom you haven’t spoken in 20 years but for some reason keep coming to mind.  Say a little prayer for them, and then let them go.  Do this with every person who comes to the forefront of your mind.  Eventually, you will not feel so spent because you will not feel so connected (in a less-than-desirable way) to everyone you have ever known.

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