Accept the Unsettledness

There will be days when unsettledness is just part of the landscape.  We can fight it or we can just accept it.  We don’t have to give in to it—just accept it.  Accept that it’s part of the job.  We’re not going to be able to do every little thing that we want to do (when we want to do and the way we want to do it) now that kids are a part of our life—especially when a toddler is in the mix!  This is just the way it is.  The more we fight, the more we lose.  Save the fight for what matters more.  This—the unsettledness—it’s just an indicator that we are more than this day-to-day tangled ball of nerves that it sometimes feels like we are.  Of course we aren’t that.  We must learn to relax—to breathe.  Even in the middle of it all.  This is the key anyway.  We will never get to a place where it’s all smooth sailing.  Life is simply not like that.  If we are really living—fully living—then we are going to need to become familiar with this unsettledness.  The knowing that there’s more to do and more to achieve—beyond what we can get to right now.  But in order to get to all of that, we have to focus on this, right now.  And for us, that means continuing to take good care of our children through all of their stages and phases, and it means continuing to take good care of ourselves through all of our stages and phases.  Why?  Because change (e.g., the stages and phases) is one of the things creating the unsettledness.  Of course we’d like for everything to stay the same all the time and never change so that smooth sailing is the standard once we’ve mastered everything.  But the nature of life is change.  To for us, those who master everything we do, there will always be something dinging the unsettledness bell.  This means we are fully alive and able to continue learning and achieving through all of the stages and phases (i.e., changes) in our children’s lives and in our own lives.

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