If You Must Assume Old Roles, Do So with Calculation

     We are the glue in our families—both the one we came out of and the one we chose for ourselves.  That’s just the way we were born and the way our environments shaped us.  We are the strong one, the rock, the leader, the healer.  Many people will use this knowledge of themselves and twist it and extort it and mistreat other people because of it.  The power can go to your head, no doubt.  But we got out of the old cycles of dysfunction because we wanted to live an honest and fair life.  We didn’t want to be used anymore, and we didn’t want to use other people (to fulfill our need to have others need us so much).  But somewhere along the line (as we continue to move forward in our own lives), we will meet again with those who would seek to manipulate us and put us back into our old roles.  We can choose to jump right back in (which we know will do us more harm than good).  Or we can choose to have no part in is (which is generally the most helpful path for us given that we have enough going on in our lives as it is!).  But there are some times when we cannot escape the narrative before us.  Because we do possess the ability to assert ourselves appropriately and effectively, we sometimes must do so when others traipse into our lives and spill their unhealthiness into our borders.  When they go and erroneously put stuff on our table that isn’t ours, it becomes our business to stop it.  So if we must assume old roles, let us do so with calculation and deliberation so that we don’t get caught up in the webs of other people’s crazy-making ways.

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