The more we give in to fearing something, the more we fear it. And the more we try to control something, the more we need to control it. This is why it is to our advantage in life and in love to learn how to operate out of the principles of love and influence (which are the antidotes to fear and control). First thought (especially as it relates to parenting our children): Influence is different from control because influence is not control for the sake of control. Influence is a positive form of control that seeks to uplift, up-build, and empower our children to become their own person while being fully accepted by us as they are. Choice and voice exist here, and uniqueness and creativity flourish here. Second thought (both as it relates to parenting our children and to our relationship with ourselves): Don’t do or not do things out of a fear of regret but out of a desire to love your choices and, consequently, your life (and this is what nullifies fear and the regret it threatens). Do you feel the lightbulb going off in your mind and heart?