Scripture for Meditation:
“I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever” (Psalm 73:25–26 NLT).
Prayer of Faith:
Thank you, Lord, that you are our portion forever. Wrap my mom in your strength as she begins radiation on this cancer that cannot be operated on. You’ve brought her through cancer new three times before—and let this time be no different. Do what you do, and let her body radiate with your touch and healing as the radiation has a greater effect than anyone could imagine. Repel the disease, and send it far away from her body. Give her back her mobility and a life that is full of quality and happiness—for this cancer will not take her. You will take her when you are good and ready, and even by this world’s standards, she is still young. Let her live out her days desiring you more and more as you reveal how wonderful it is that you are ours forever.
From the working manuscript of Not Alone: Prayers for Daughters of Moms with Stage 4 Cancer
Today is Monday, 1/28/2019. There is good news to report. My mom will be starting her radiation today. It will be a 10-day treatment, so Monday through Friday this week and Monday through Friday next week. The phone call I had with my mom early last Friday (before the medical transport people came to take her to her liver biopsy) must have had a positive effect on her because when my dad called me after the biopsy, he was happy to report that my mom was willing to start her radiation today instead of waiting until there’s definitely a third person to help her up and down the stairs. Safety is of course always important, but since she will not be taking any anxiety medication (and since her new high-powered anti-inflammatory medicine is working very well for her—she can sleep and stand without pain), she will have the use of her legs back enough to make it to and from the car with the help of my dad as they have been doing these last few months.
My mom is in good spirits, which is also good news. She is standing up every hour to build her strength and doing her exercises to increase her range of motion—and this is a positive change; it is good seeing her do what she can do, like moving around as she is able and going to radiation as soon as possible. It is encouraging that she is taking initiative where she can.
This coming Wednesday is the big appointment with my mom’s head cancer/chemo doctor. The standing diagnosis so far is Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. The radiation doctor from last Wednesday was not willing to give a months/years-to-live projection since he wanted to see what the radiation does. This is definitely a reason to hold on to hope. This reminds me of something from the Mister Rogers documentary about how he said it’s important to die well, with your hopes intact. So, yes, whatever the outcome, I desire that my mom and all of us keep hope alive within us to the extent that even if our worst fears come to pass, we can still be comforted by the thought that my mom will be in the uninterrupted presence of God with all his angels, where pain and tears don’t exist. And while we traverse this world with all of its pain and tears inherent, I want there to be hope enough to live in each moment that we have with the comfort of knowing that God is here with us now, that his glorious presence is here and that he inhabits our very hearts.