With regard to emotions regulation, it is helpful for us to remember that if we can just get over the hump with it, then the rest is worlds easier to get through. It’s this first bump that is the hardest because it’s so new to us. The thing to keep in mind that if we keep at it, we will make it over the hump, and before we know it, doing this internal processing of our feelings will truly become second nature. We won’t have to think much about it. But right now, we do have to think much about it. We do have to put much effort into it because these skills just weren’t developed well for us. For many people, this fact (that the skills related to regulating one’s emotions weren’t fully developed) becomes an excuse to stay the way they are, and they end up justifying hurtful “personality quirks” (which in fact are behaviors that can be modified with effort) instead of working hard at learning new ways of being so that they can live more effective lives that build up instead of tear down. For us, we want something better. Something healthier. Something fuller than two-dimensional living. And so to get there, we just need to get over this hump—because we are taking it one lumpy bumpy hump at a time on this road.