Consolation Thoughts

Dig Deep Always

Sometimes we excuse ourselves from working hard on being light-hearted and easy-going.  We focus on ourselves and our pain and our unmet needs more than the children in our care and the spouse in our arms and the home in our present.  We think that we’ve done enough, tried enough, given enough—and now it’s time to kick back and be however we want to be because we’ve done our part up until now (an easy trap for stay-at-home moms, especially, to fall into).  The hard news is that we will never reach a point where all the work we’ve done is enough.  We have to keep working.  We have to keep digging.  And we have to keep working hard and digging deep.  This is just how it is now that we’ve decided that we want to break free from the narcissistic abuse we’ve come out of.  This is just how it is when we want to change course and treat our family and ourselves better than what we have unfortunately experienced ourselves.  We must continue to give our best at this.  It’s like any other progress-journey (like strength training or weight loss or knitting or reading or writing a novel).  You have to keep doing it.  Yes, there is the glorious land of maintenance that we will get to eventually if we haven’t already gotten there.  But even in maintenance mode, we still must stay focused on giving our best instead of fixating on what’s wrong with us or what ails us.  (This life is not about us, remember?)