As I read through this writing several years after I first wrote it, I could see some things now that I didn’t see then (things like how much positive growth has taken place all around, which I think is the case with anyone who has to put the pedal to the metal and actually do the thing that they feel they have to do). Writing has always been my go-to—the thing I do when I need to make sense of something, work through something, get my bearings, express complex emotions, or create some peace in my life. So it seems that by getting a handle on the details of my life by putting some of it into writing, it was an important step towards gaining even more of what I was aiming for (for instance, the goal of not having so much of an internally-felt negative physical reaction to things I encountered during the day—even though I wanted to be doing what I was doing).
I felt that a brief update of sorts was warranted—because a lot has happened in these four years that, I believe, reflect a reaping of wholehearted sowing. My husband and I now have three children, ages 5 (a boy), 3 (a boy), and 1 (a girl). Also, we now live in a house instead of an apartment. And lastly but very importantly, my husband and I—individually and together—are much improved people to the point where we are the happiest and healthiest that we’ve ever been in our entire life. And I think these sort of results can be expected when we consciously do something about what it is that we feel we are meant to do.
There are some things that I completely forgot about as life kind of happened since then—which is one of the reasons why I wanted to make this writing available to others to read so that if there was something that I was thinking and feeling back then that is similar to something that someone else is currently thinking and feeling, then perhaps I could offer something intangibly valuable: understanding. It is my desire to be a voice of comfort and direction to those who might identify with the kind of life I have lived (because they are living it, too) and who might be able to benefit from hearing someone else say to them that it’s all going to be okay and here is what’s working for me.
While I will agree to assert that it absolutely takes two people to take care of a home and a family well, I will state unequivocally that my family is proof that even if just one person catches the flame of true caregiving (it’s a heart-stance regardless of circumstance, not a physical role of, say, stay-at-homing), then everything else will work itself out eventually. Everything. How can this be? Because “we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28 NLT).
May God bless you and keep you as you care for your home and family.