It is important that we learn to use an emotional filter. In other words, when we ourselves are feeling big emotions, it is helpful to situations if we can filter those emotions so that what comes out of our mouth enhances the outcome of a situation instead of blowing everything up. (We all know it’s far easier to just say and do whatever we say and feel like doing especially as it all relates to the emotions we are experiencing, but this approach to parenting is absolutely not constructive, and it hardly teaches our children how to have self-control and to handle oneself with finesse.) To back the train way up, it helps us get to this point where we can employ an emotional filter on ourselves (like a water filter takes the water as-is and filters out the impurities, leaving drinkable water) if we can try to not feel overly bad when our children are sad or mad. When we speak, it is helpful to let our words be seasoned with the salt of kindness, empathy, patience, and self-control. Focusing on how much we love our children helps us to speak and act out of that love. We can even see love itself as being the emotional filter we wrap around our heart—it keeps out the impurities that may hurt us from the outside and it catches the impurities (from our own emotions from our own heart) that have the potential to hurt others.